Sometimes I get Jealous

It’s not easy to admit, but sometimes I get jealous.  I know this is normal and we humans all get jealous, but I don’t like it.  What do I get jealous about? Well these days I feel the green eyed monster come out when I talk to friends who are working and who are achieving success outside the home.  This is absolutely not to say that I am not happy for my friends and so proud for all that they have done, but sometimes it makes me wish that I had some of that.  

I am a Stay-At-Home mom (SAHM) and have been for over 7 years.  I made that decision and pretty much never looked back. I have had the opportunity to do some contract work and some projects here and there but nothing that has had me working in an office since before I had children.  In talking with other people on this subject I often get the response that I could just look for part-time work or flexible work so that I could fill this void. This is an option for sure.

Without getting in to the debate about being a Stay-At-Home vs a Working Mom right now, it will suffice it to say that being a Stay-At-Home mom feels right to me for me, 100%.  However, I get jealous of my working mom friends. Sure I miss the interaction with co-workers, adult conversations, meetings, getting dressed up, sitting in an office with the independence to manage my own time, and contributing to society in that way.  But that’s not why I am jealous. After years of analyzing and over analyzing this, I realize I am jealous because my job, being a SAHM, doesn’t give me anything to show to the world for my achievements the way having a paid position does. Taking care of our children and managing the house requires work, I don’t think that’s up for debate.  However there is no title up for promotion, no skills that I can get a certificate for, and no across-the-board standards that I can tell someone that I have surpassed so that I feel some sense of accomplishment.

I should probably mention that I am a box-checker, task-er, to-do list-er, and a person who appreciates certifications and degrees.  I find great satisfaction in marking off boxes “done. done. done” and having an end goal be met and have something to show for it. The SAHM gig is rewarding in small and big ways, but it’s just not the same as putting on a presentation at work, winning a court case, wowing a client, or getting a promotion.  This is something that I struggle with and I wonder if others feel the same. I try not to think too much about it because it’s comparing apples to oranges, but every once in awhile it comes up and it makes me feel yucky inside. The jealousy comes and goes, it’s fleeting and is surpassed by how happy I am to hear about how well my friends are doing.  But what is left is my insecurity about not my actual job choice, but if I am meeting the right milestones and “succeeding” at being a SAHM.